somemansdream

Some of you guys know I kind of use these blogs to talk to myself.  Maybe I’m just tired from all the work I’ve done around the house these last two days-but my mood has drifted downward.  It really sucks cause hubby called and he’s going to go get a beer with the guys after supper.  That really annoys me-probably me just feeling pissy.  I was already feeling this way when he told me that so I guess its not all aimed at him.

I have been thinking about this whole weight loss thing.  This is such an emotional thing. I catch myself feeling frustrated at the scale. Its like move downwards you stubborn jackass!  Yet, if I really take an honest look at what i’ve been doing…how can I blame that scale. I’ve been sick and the scale dropped down..and its been steadily going back up to the original number.  Tomarrow is my weigh in day for the wildcats.  Who knows what its gonna be.  Yet, when I take a look at what i’ve been doing or actually-not doing-why am I surprised?  I havent been working out–the only thing i’ve been doing is cleaning–since I got sick.  I have been sick all week.  I’m also skipping meals again.  I cant remember last time I ate breakfast.  It sure doesnt take much to stop the weight loss or even gain some.

So, I came in here to get my head on straight.  Yeah, I get tired of the struggles and my mood goes up and down like a roller coaster.  Sometimes, I feel like whats the point.  Motivation has walked out on me.  I have already figured out its fleeting at best of times anyway.  The thing is…no matter how I feel…no matter what my mood is…or how frustrated I get—I just have to keep going.   Who knows, after some sleep…hell I might be raring to go again come tomarrow morning.  Good days or bad….gotta get through them and keep going…keep working towards my dreams.  Sometimes I think this journey is harder in the mind then it ever is physically.  Time to lay my worries and frustrations aside for tonight…tomarrow is another day.

Love you guys, Debbie

First of all, thanks guys. This is why I come in here to vent or whenever I need something.  You guys always make me feel better.  Thank you!!

The work situation with hubby will work out.  I know we will end up doing well in the end and thats all that matters.  I have no doubt that in the end, hubbys boss will get his payback.  My focus is now on getting by and dealing with things as they come.  Gives an evil grin-still would love to get a few minutes alone with his boss to press upon him a few things.

I have to look forward now.  We started a brand new year guys!  While I know we are not alone in the difficulties that we face….I still feel hope for a new year & I hope you guys do to.  Good news is…this is the time of year everyone goes…oh crap…gotta do something about this weight I gained. I am so proud of all of us…we are one step ahead of everyone else!  So, chin up guys….put a smile on that face….check your attitude to make sure its in the right place and lets take on this new year with fire and passion in our hearts!! 

Love Debbie

Thats exactly how I feel right now.  Some of you know hubby got bumped a step down on the ladder at work.  We found out why today.  His boss feels like my hubby and I need to learn to live on less money.  You read that right.  He’s thinking by doing this, that hubby will be happy to take the job he orginally wanted my hubby to take.  Hubby sited finances as the reason why he couldnt take that job..but instead went over doing the same thing he was at his old job.  That pisses me off.  How dare he!!!   Who the hell does that man think he is??  Our finances have nothing to do with him or the job he does. Thats ok. Hubby and I are bidding our time.  

The funniest part about this. The guy they kept in at hubby’s level…has zero experience. My hubby is the only one with any experience on the type of rig that they are gonna be on…no one knows anything…including the guy that they kept in at hubbys level.  Hubbys favorite new words are gonna be…call your supervisor and ask him.  He’s gonna do his job and that is it…no help for nothing for anything else….hey, they are not willing to pay for his experience. Not my problem.

First chance hubby gets…he’s out of there.  Screw this guy. It just pisses me off the reason behind all of this….trying to manipulate my husband to do what he wants to be done.  Hell will freeze over first.  No way..no how.  My hubby will get his revenge….of that I have no doubt-far as i’m concerned…the colder the revenge the better. 

Just wanted to vent-take out some frustrations out on my keyboard.  Pisses me off every time I think about it.  Anyway, goodnight guys. Love Debbie

Ok, I just came in here to vent!  Ever have one of those things that make ya wanna pound your head against the wall??  That’s me this evening. I decided to take our christmas stuff down. Just like last year, I got pissed at the tree again.  I hate trying to unwind those stupid lights in order to put the tree up. That’s ok.  After about 40 minutes and not having any lights off…I got pissed and thought….I’ll fix you.  I left those lights on the tree and duct taped the tree down tight so I could get it in the box (well, for the most part anyway).  I won this year…so take that!!  Then, hubby calls…told him what I was doing and damn it…he asked that question….did you get the lights off???  I told him I didnt want to hear it.  Repeat with the same answers…then he’s like…awww Debbie.  I still dont wanna hear it. Yes, I’m holding a grudge against a christmas tree.

Ok, next thing. We all got new cells phones. Hubby has been wanting to go to AT& T. Well, with finances being the way they are…we needed new service as our old one was way to expensive.  Enter At& T.  I have absolutely no clue with this new phone. I made calls from it earlier…just fine…now its like…no network service.  Stupid thing. Then hubby calls and suggests…turn it off for a second.  Hey look I got it to work..only to do a test call to my daughter and ended up putting either me or my daughter…one of us ..on hold.  I have also tried texting from it.  I managed somehow to turn this deal on it underlines the words and wont let you chose the letters the normal way….grrrrrrrrrr.  I found a way to make the spaces between letters…then it started that other crap. Bangs head…time to turn the phone off.

Anyway, i’m doing just fine and dandy. I just wanted to vent.  By the way, for those of you who are already amused at me. As far as the lights are concerned on the tree. Okay, you have heard of things like…being mentally challenged.  Well, for an extra little laugh…I’ll throw this is for amusement. If it is long, and has any kind of cord or strap….I cant keep the damn things straight for the life of me….cords on headphones…mine get all twisted and knotted up…seat beats…even blankets and sheets.  I dont know how I manage to do this….not like I mess with it..it just happens.  So, now you guys know my secret.  I have heard more then once from hubby…”how in the hell do you manage to do this???”…..now, I answer….”it takes talent thank you very much!”

alright, there’s my vent….goodnight guys!  Love Debbie 

Well, some of you guys know i’ve been sick.  I am feeling better-just not completely well yet. You guys know how that is, I’m sure.

Along with being sick…been dealing with financial issues. There’s some fun.  We have decided to try to save my blazer and still purchase that car-the one we were gonna buy for our son til he got pissy lol.  Like most people now days…just gonna have to watch our money a little more carefully.  Me and hubby have switched rolls…normally it would be me fussing and fuming and plotting and him being like…it will be ok.  I mean I understand why he’s so stressed and upset…no one likes to take a step back from everything you’ve worked so hard for all these years. However, we have always managed to get by.  He sure is regretting ever changing jobs thats for sure.  Live & learn you know. 

Now, that i’m feeling a little better-I can see my house is a disaster. Yuck!! It gets like this and looks like the entire house needs scrubbing from top to bottom.  That’s what i’m gonna be doing this week…scrubbing and cleaning.  Kind of makes ya go…where do I start!  Give me something to do anyway lol.  That & it will burn  calories lol.

Not a whole lot going on…just wanted to check in with you guys. Let ya’ll know i’m still here! lol  I have been coming in here and checking in with some of you guys…those of you who I havent checked in with….I’ll catch up sooner or later I promise!

Much love, Debbie

Well, guys….

the other day I posted a blog about outrunning the blues–well, it turned out to be the start of a flu/cold. Knocked me off my feet completely. Feeling a little better today.

Then, hubby calls me….he got knocked back one step on the ladder.  He came home to help me figure things out…cause this a $4000 pay cut a month for us-if not a little more.

This hasnt really bothered me all day. Some of you guys might remember how I fought hubby taking a job with this guy. He just couldnt stay where he was at…oh it was so bad. Its been steadily going downhill since he took this job. Now, look where we are at. I cant help feel there is a lesson in all this.

Money wise, we have spent the day figuring out how to make the cuts we need in order to make ends meet under the new budget.  Maybe its because i’m still sick…but, i’m not worried or even particularly care (right now anyway).  We might lose my blazer….but I wont be without a car. That car we were going to buy for my son….well, he got mad at his dad last night. Told his father…give the car to his sister.  I know, we are just rotten parents because we want him to get another job (to make payments) and get insurance (required by texas law) on that car before driving it all over hell and back.  Today, I told my hubby…shoot, I would drive that car…ditch the blazer and save all that money.  A vehicle is to get me from point A to point B.  Otherwise, I could care less.  Our son moved back out of our house last night in his temper. Whatever. 

Finances are gonna be tough.  Funny enough, I was thinking about how to get hubby to downsize a lot of stuff because its so much waste.  Really didnt want it to be a “have too” type deal though.  I look at it this way….been here before…we made it through.  Make it through again.

Read about Kama’s mom….and it broke my heart. How much is one lady supposed to go through. 

Then, I read Nancy’s blog….and it broke my heart too.  I had to bail on giving a real answer. I dont think she wants a comment that is nothing but tears.  Sorry about that girl….I just couldnt answer then.

I was fine til I read about all you guys.  Cause i almost feel like….those are real problems…this is what real heartbreak is about.  Sadly, my tears wouldnt do a thing to help…cause if they could…i would cry a million for each of you.  I didnt read any more blogs tonight…and for those of you who needed a hand….i’m sorry. I’ll be in more of a shape to offer something tomarrow. I just know if i read one more heartbreaking story…i’ll lose it.

I love you guys. Debbie

Well, today is one of those days that I dont feel like blogging really. Just wanna kind of hide from the world. I know that it is just a hint of depression trying to take over.  I know from experience that If I let myself sink into it…it hangs around longer. I dont wanna waste time being depressed.

This morning I got a call from my brother in law. My deal is yeah, its not my problem. Yet, I wanna be there when my brother in law calls. He has no one to help him. (my sister left him after being married 20 yrs).  I just cant stand to have anyone so upset or to hear them cry..it just breaks my heart.   He is basically stuck where he’s at…trying to over come the financial disaster he has been stuck with.  On, and on…I did get him to laugh a few times.  He is just so over whelmed right now-he’s been brought to his knees.  This is devestating to watch. 

On, the more lighter side of things, my hubby called this morning and I am sooo jealous at what he got to do!  A wild baby deer came up on location today.  The guys started walking towards it…and hubby was like…no, no…cause deer can do some major damage with those hoofs.  The guys reached the deer and were petting it…so hubby grabbed some cereal and was hand feeding him. Said the deer was so gentle with taking food from him. The guys told him this deer has come up on location before….does this every now and then…they pet it and feed it. Hubby got a couple of pics with the camera before the battery went dead. He was disappointed to not get one taken with the deer himself–maybe next time.  Awww…what a picture this makes in my mind…all these tough and tumble guys babying this deer.  I wanna pet the deer! lol

Other news, I cleaned out my storage building yesteriday and it whipped my butt!! I think it was like 4 hours of work. That evening, I crashed in the chair and hubby called. I was glad because i knew if i went to sleep in that chair, I wouldnt sleep last night. Talked to him for a few.  After supper, I sat right there in that chair and crashed-out like a light.  Woke up about 9 and went to bed. I dont know if those pain killers were still in my system and with the exercise from the cleaning …put me out or what. I slept all night last night and didnt get up til 8! (taken pain killers the other night because of my shoulder).  All I know is that its been a long time since I slept that much and that hard.

Today, to help fight off the blues…stealing the tv from my son and doing my dancing. That should help perk me up. I am wondering how long I can hold out…sure like to do the whole 90 mins.  But, if I cant…thats ok.  I also have sooo much work to do around the house-maybe the dancing will perk me up enough to get some of that done too. Sure needs it.

Anyway guys, gonna get up and get moving.  Maybe if i move fast enough the blues cant catch me?? lol.  Love Debbie

Hello to all of you guys this morning!

I hope everyone had a great time with the holidays.

Well, I’m a happy camper this morning. Today is weigh in day for the wildcats…optional this week.  I stepped on that scale this morning…down 1 lb !! It showed 248 lbs today!! Yayyy.  I made it through the holidays…and in the end…I lost 1 lb. I would have normally gained and gained big. This is the very first year that it didnt happen that way-it made me feel so good guys.

As for my christmas….well, handing out presents…I tripped-I guess over my own feet- and darn near knocked the tree down..me down..and everything. Geeze lol.

Funny notes: 

we bought my dad a fishing pole as a gift. At first, he was like yay…lets go fishing. Then he read what kind of fishing pole it was…an ugly stick…oh man…it was so funny. He started hugging it and laughing. I think we made him happy.

I have a 1 yr old niece. She was holding a cup of tea. Now, I dont know if she was just showing me her cup or wanting me to take it…but that baby dumped that tea right over the top of her head lol.  It was so funny…but that poor baby lol.

Well, we had a lot more people here then expected. I didnt mind a bit. I really enjoyed it. The guys went out and played football. I missed it though, my brother in law did a face plant on the first play of the game…with no one around him!  I’m sorry but that would have been worth seeing lol.

My sister Mel, is veryyyy pregnant. Due on Jan 5th. I was teasing her…telling her…christmas baby! She didnt like that idea lol. I am hoping she will have the first baby for the new year.  Its always made out to be a big deal here…with it being in the newspaper…gifts and all that. Which would be cool for my sister.  She has 3 other little girls..but, lord I dont remember her being this big with any of them. Needless to say…she is sooo ready for this baby to be here.

Some of you guys know my older sister left her husband recently. Do you know she texted me…we were talking..and she was like…I dont know what I want…Joe (her hubby) is all alone now. Well, duh.  Airhead lol. I’m not getting involved in any of this…no worrying about it or anything. This is between two adults-not my problem.

Anyway, good holidays all the way around. Everyone got what they wanted. My best gift was having my hubby home for christmas. Its a rare thing for him to be home as he always had to work.  Unfortunately, I didnt get to do what Nancy did and put a bow on and tell hubby…here’s your present lol. I planned on it. My shoulder had other plans.  Hubby gave me some pain killers last night….they are so cool too. Made me sleep and as I was laying down…I realized I couldnt feel my body unless i moved lol. That is actually a pretty strange sensation lol. Lucky enough for me, those pills helped. I got a few more for backup if my shoulder wants to play mean again.  All in all, it was a very good christmas…with family and friends here. We are all healty & happy. 

Now, I dont know if any of you guys felt it. Last night, as I laid on the couch …I said a thank you to God for all you guys. I also asked that he watch over you guys and send many blessings your way.  So, if you feel someone watching you…you know who to blame lol.

Much love guys, Debbie

Ok,  I came across an ad for this guy’s program. He hypnotizes you to lose weight….he tries to program you to stop emotional eating..to become motivated to exercise…lose desire for fattening foods…etc etc. 

First of all, I am skeptic of this. Then I got to thinking about an experience in college. One of our counselors came in and hypnotized us as a group…it was a pretty cool deal. He would ask questions and we would respond…he would tell us to do something…and I had already told myself before he hypnotized us….that if he wanted us to do something…i wouldnt do it. He told us to raise our arms and stuff and I did. I was thinking he might make us cluck like chickens but he didnt lol. What I remember is him telling us how we would feel when we woke up…it was awesome. lol

I wanted to know if anyone has any experience with this?? We tell ourselves…we can do this….gonna work out…we fight negative thoughts and all that. Looks like this would be pretty much the same except it really reaches your subconscious more.  What do you guys think??  There is even try it free for a week or whatever deal.  So, if anyone has any experience with this…please share. I’m curious about this lol.

Thanks guys. Love Debbie

I wanted to sit down and do something while I had the time. Yes, christmas is right around the corner and lots to do -as most people.  Yet, here it is at the end of the year and I just wanted to take a minute and reflect on things.

Current weight is 249 lbs…I have lost 48 lbs. My goal is to eventually lose about 130-138 lbs to put me in a healthy range.  There has been many ups and downs….frustrations…and those “I dont give a damn” moments.  Yet, here I am…still going.

Financially, we are like everyone else….struggling.  This new year that is coming up hard and fast…well, I am making cuts where I can and get some of our financial goals done this next year.  One thing I really want…besides some of this stuff paid off…is to go somewhere on our 20th wedding annv.  This past year we blew a lot of money…thats ok as there is nothing I can do about it now.  My hubby still has that mindset that we have money to blow lol. Silly man.

I have many blessings: 

a loving husband that puts me in the center of his world

a son that keeps us on our toes…and has a very brazen sense of humor

a daughter that is sassy but doesnt really give us much trouble….she’s gonna be leaving us in May after graduation and she turns 18 the same day lol.

My nieces..all 3 of them..one more on the way….we are betting on when my sister will have that baby lol. She is actually due Jan 5th.  I told her last night…dec 26th lol. 

That god sent me to you guys….he really knew what he was doing. I want to thank you guys for being here. You have given me support and encouragement…love…made me laugh and made me cry (with happiness…those times you touched my heart). 

For my dogs….Chance makes us laugh and we have so much fun playing with him. Still needs some more training. I also have an old female Rott named Honey. She’s our old lady.  Bless her…had to put her on a doggy diet…she is just so big. They both bring something special to our lives.

That I still have my hearing…they said as I get older it will get worse and worse.  I am thrilled to see I still have so much of it.  Guess one of these days need to take sign classes at the college here lol.  I dont worry about being completely deaf…been there before…only this time it will be for good…so I take joy in what I have for now.

There is more….but, I just wanted to post some….because I am so very thankful. 

Merry Christmas guys!! Love Debbie