somemansdream

So, some of you know that i’ve been wondering how people get things done….it seems like i’m always chasing my tail and not getting anything finished. So, I went to the library today, while I was there, hey…check out some books on getting organized.  I did, 5 of them lol. Grab some regular reading stuff and headed for the front desk. Was talking to the lady at the desk, and I told her…boy, I hope these books help me. That started it lol. Apparently I am not the only one that looks back at the end of the day wondering what the hell did I do all day because nothing is finished! lol. She explained about this email she got…….walk into a room for something, pick the item up….lay it down when you see a pile of clothes that need to be washed….go to the laundry room, set the clothes down on floor and walk out….crap…where was that item I went after in the first place?? I do this all day long!!!  I also go to the store….need 3 items….naw, dont write it down…can remember that. Walk into the store and come to a dead stop, crap…what did I come after??? So, then I roam around the store hoping it will jog my memory. Awww, that’s it…found one item. Damn, call daughter/hubby….what was it that I came after?? I absolutely kid you not guys…this is me.  Then the lady at the front desk was like…yeah, I can relate…..she goes…I hate laundry! lmao…me too!! I have so much of it and it never gets done…..another lady at the desk pipes in….I hate dishes lol. Another thing that never gets completely done. I walked out of there laughing….because its so me.  I worried that I would make a lousy business person because of my memory. So, hence all these books on organization.  There are things I want. I want to leave my house looking put together….I would like a clean house where things get done……and on in that line. Yet, nothing gets done.

So, when these ladies at the library chimed in on their stuff too I had to laugh. These ladies are put together….but, apparently they have some problems like I do with home and organization.  I mean, I stay busy all day long, thats the funny part!! Anyway, wish me luck guys!!!

Hey guys, how are ya’ll doing today?? Well, as for me, I’m doing better then yesteriday. Thanks for the support guys. PMS can really get me going (shakes head at the thought it hasnt even started yet).

Now, I’ve been debating about writing about this next topic. Yet, this is part of my journey too.  Some of you know i’m starting a new business and it is in the health and nutrition field.  Now, I will NOT push these products on you guys. This is like my second home and so many of you are as close to me as my family. This is a place for love and support, not sell products.  Now, with this said (big smile) guys I’m just so amazed and thrilled. See in order to do this business, you have to do the products. So, hubby and I both are. I’m in LOVE!!! 

Little background. I have two kids-now teenagers. When I had them and started gaining weight and more weight (up to 306 at one time)….I had these hugh stretch marks. I could put my pinkie in some of them and so many were dark red. About midway on this journey, I became upset about them….all these changes and yet, i’ll never get rid of these unless I have surgery. But, I figured I cant let that stop me, I had to keep going. I would deal with these stretch marks some day. Ok, I have this funny quirk, dont know if you guys do this. But, I dont really look at myself in the shower, bath or when i’m changing clothes. I can be a speed queen in getting these things done fast as possible.  Well, the other day I was laying on the bed and I began to look. I could feel myself getting very excited. Guys my stretchmarks are going away!!!!  You cant even see where the ones in front are anymore! OMG!! I cant tell you how excited I am.  Also, my hubby has developed a sudden thing for my legs!! The “hail damage” I used to have is going away too!! My hubby keeps telling me they are going away and my legs are looking good. Ok, getting a little teary eyed here. Its just how many years have I beat myself up over the way my body looks.  (ok, tears are falling but i’m swear its happy tears).  I have tried things that they say work, and had finally decided these things are a part of me for good, without surgery.  I was skeptic when I went to that meeting in dallas and they were saying that they have products that can help these areas and I figured they really just jumped on the bandwagon like everyone else.  I’m so amazed. So happy. Smiles, hubby told me last night about his stretch marks from being over weight…and he raised up his shirt….I was like holy cow-they are gone!  So, hubby and I are so thrilled and happy right now. This means so much to us. If anyone has ever had negative feelings about their body, harbored hatred for their body, then you can understand my feelings of joy.  Also, I have white spots on my nails. I have actually done a search online about it, turns out I needed better nutrition, yep-now that i’m getting it…those are completely gone from one hand already.

Like I said, I wont sell here. However, you guys please bare with me when something like these things happen to me. This is part of my journey. I waited about a week-debating over writing this. Yet, I have come to the conclusion that I write about pretty much everything in here. Now, this is part of my life too. So, I hope you guys will celebrate with me when I have changes that have been made for the better. I dont want to keep part of my journey away from here–the very place I pour my heart out.

This is such an emotional issue for me–this whole weight loss/body issues thing. While I dont hate myself anymore. I have struggled bitterly for some many years–20 years guys.  I’ve found something that works for me, its making me healthier, more energy and the list goes on. I have to celebrate the successes as much as I bitch about the failures.

You guys still love me right?? lol

Hey guys,

Mmm….been one of those days. PMS is coming my way soon and its making me feel down right irrated, grumpy, and bitchy.  Had to find midol first thing this morning and its not even here yet. Thrill. So, today has been a down day for me. I feel like i’m running behind on every thing. I only worked part of the day but still feel like I didnt get anything done today at home.  This is one of those days that you wonder why you even bother with anything. Like a mouse running in a circle, you dont get any where.  I look around at all the stuff that needs to be done and want to say screw it and grab a beer or 2, ok, maybe 3 or 4.  Kind of like why am I trying so hard, rushing, when nothing is getting done anyway. Mood wise, like I said above…not pretty. I just chased my daughter and hubby out my computer room -they were getting on my nerves–I think they went to look for some cover for safety.  Anyway, thats enough of this…..I know its just hormones. When little things get on your nerves–like strap on your purse breaking, some dumb driver not looking and almost causing you to have a wreck….a phone call that says, baby please bring me this from home—and its enough to make you wanna fume, need to chill a bit. Ha ha, guess what, PMS isnt even here yet!! Look what I have to look forward too.

Shakes head, sometimes those we have to claim as family are the very ones that try to get to us. Had a short phone call with my sister shirley last night (the older one that I have problems with now and then).  In that conversation, she threw out this barb, “boy, I bet a year ago you would have never thought that you would be cleaning houses to help make ends meet”.  Now, this had absolutely nothing to do with our topic of conversation–which was about what time she was gonna bring her car by to have hubby fix it. I just replied I dont mind, something to do. She was trying to get to me. I hung up the phone and thought, i’m no princess. I dont mind doing what needs to be done, including doing labor to help make a little money. Yes, now when hubby was in the oilfield, he made the money. I refuse to let circumstances bring me down or having somes snide comments get to me. Way I look at it, do what ya gotta do. I still have many blessings to count. I guess the way she sees it, we have came a long way down. But, to me, we still have what matters the most. I may not be a princess, but I’ll always be my hubby’s queen! So there! lol.

Besides, (this is the evil part of me that has to be bitchy lol) that work is burning calories and i’m shrinking week by week. Meanwhile, she is big as ever and will never get anything but bigger as she just refuses to work on it. So, grow bigger girl while I enjoy the work that is burning my calories and lowering my weight!  ha ha ha.

Ok, had to vent that out. My sister is just one of those that just gets on a person’s nerves. Bless my daughter, she sat there today and listened to my sister’s monologue that went on and on. God, she was about to put me to sleep.  She gets that way sometimes.

Was this terribly catty??? lmao

Title pretty much says it all. For the 2nd day in a roll, I have woke up at 4 am-only the other night…I laid there and laid there. Today, I finally got up and got some work  done. I think a lot of it is that my mind gets to going–thinking of all those things that need to be done. I was so tired last night, I figured I would drop off and sleep til the alarm goes off.

Well, we have to get more work done on that rental house. Also, my sister is bringing her car down so hubby can work on it. Then, at 8 tonight, we have a business call. Plus, sometime today while we are doing nothing, we need to drive over to the next town and get the pickup we are gonna be borrowing–as we figure hubby’s new truck will be picked up soon. They started calling the very next day after our payment was due.

As for other news, hubby of course is not taking care of himself. He’s gained 3 lbs that I know of–eating and eating in the evenings. Large amounts of food.  I can encourage him but he has to be the one that has to make the efffort.  I think (?) that I wrote in that I lost 1 lb on Friday’s weigh in.  I did my inches this morning, and it showed another 5 3/4 inches gone. This makes me a total of 16 inches gone now.  I wasnt expecting any inches loss due to my illness this past week, but i’ll darn sure take them. I noticed my 18’s seemed baggier then normal yesteriday as I kept pulling them up, thought about it and figured it was wishful thinking. I can already wear my 16’s but I would like them to fit a little better before I wear them often–not that I have very many lol.

Well guys, I think i’m gonna get a few more things done. Happy Sunday, you guys enjoy your day.  

Whew, I’m one tired kitty thats for sure. I am so not used to working like that. 7 straight hours of cleaning, scrubbing, painting and all that stuff. I feel like a wimp cause i’m so tired. My feet and the back of my thighs hurt.  See, first half of the day I was ok, cleaning and all that, dancing to my music while the 2nd half got me lol. I just wanted to stop by and say “hi” to you guys. Also, thanks for all of the boosters, whole box full of them. I’m gonna try to come back in here after supper and put out my own little boosters to everyone. Have a great night everyone…i’m sneaking off with a book til supper gets here.

Good morning buddies,

Ok, first thing…..something i’ve had on my mind. This is gonna sound stupid, but never know unless you ask. I’m looking for tips, ideas. See, everyone has seen those ladies that always look put together. Hair, clothes, makeup. They look like they feel good about themselves because they are taking care of themselves….may be illusion I know. I still wanna be true to myself in being the person I am, but I’ve often wondered how do they do that. I normally run around looking like crap. So, is it just the matter of ironing your  clothes or what? I know through some of ya’ll’s pics that you guys are the kind of ladies that i’m talking about. Help lol. Tips, ideas? What makes you guys so pulled together???

Now, here’s the funny thing. Here lately, I have been carrying in my mind a pic of what I can look like this summer. Why or where its came from, I have no idea cause i’m not usually that visual. So, it must mean this is possible for me.  It makes me wanna strive to be that weight and that fit. So, today, here comes the workouts. I’m willing to work to be  that image in my head.  Wish me luck guys.

By the way, does anyone have that pic in there head or is this just me being a nutcase again ? lol.

Oh I gotta run, time snuck away from me….I’ll be back!!

As most of you guys know, there is a lot of breaking hearts here today. Ok, I’m not gonna cry while typing this. Anyway, one of the people that has to leave, temporarily, is Anj. One of our leaders of the wildcats. I was thinking about this and I have decided on something. See, Anj is one of those people that has jerked me up and asked what the hell are you doing when I was letting everything go to hell. She gave me strenght to turn it all around. So, Anj, in your honor in the changes you’ve made in me, and others im sure….I pledge to walk every single day until you  come back! Shan, in your honor of your uncle and the obvious joy he has brought to your heart….every day I am going to find something that brings joy to my heart and count my blessings. So, yeah, my hands are just shaking due to emotions, its with pride that i’m making these pledges to these some very special people. So, who’s with me….anyone want to join me. That way when these guys come back, we can say….look what you inspired me to do, thank you.

Hey guys,

Yay, I’m better! That makes me very happy.

I just wanted to say something. Some of you guys are new, so although this has been said before, it deserves to be repeated. You old timers already know this so just bare with me. So many of us are facing some really rough times.  Sometimes we dont talk about it but its always there. For the most part, I bare my heart here in my blogs, a way to vent all let all those emotions out. Some pick and choose what we say in here, some people tend to be more private.  If I have one suggestion for you, find at least one person that you can pour your heart out to, share your troubles with. With so many loving hearts here…there always seems to be one willing to listen. Its that friendship that can make all the difference in the world to you during bad times and the good. I even believe Nancy gave tribute to her tribe in a blog today for helping her out of some rough stuff. Thats what i’m talking about.  Reach out. Even if its to one person. We have something so amazing here–with such an awesome group of people….so dont give up….dont carry your troubles alone. We cant help solve them for the most part, but we already know how far love and support will take us. If your a real new here and dont have many friends, shoot, send me a note. So many have helped me…I’m more then willing to listen. We all face troubles, some emotional, some financial, relationships….so many have shaken our heads yes when reading a blog…why, cause we have been there. We understand.  Silly me, I wouldnt reach out because I know others have troubles and I didnt want to add to it….push my troubles on them. Well, they called me out and I have come to understand…they do this because they care. Just like I do. So, find someone or a tribe even….there are so many people here…I know you can find someone. Open up, take a chance.

Well, thankfully, I think i’m all better! Whew…being sick all week is not my idea of fun thats for sure.

Weigh loss news….i’m ready to get back on track. I held my food down for the 2nd day in a roll. Yay. I have had 2 chocolate mint patties and thankfully by leaving it on my tongue, has managed to cure most of the metallic taste in my mouth. Hopefully, thats on its way out the door too now. Talk about nasty. Now, normally, when i’m sick and dont touch food for a few days, I tend to gain 2 lbs….which really isnt fair at all lol. However, it will be what it is. I’ll deal with it weigh in day, friday.

While i’ve been sick, Brandy & britt, (hubby & daughter) were on their own. I wasnt able to cook or anything. So, today, now that i’m better hubby told me what he’s been doing. Shakes head, he’s been a bad, bad boy. See, he does real well during the day….he get his shakes and vitamins and stuff…he’s fine. But, he’s up late at night, alone and he’s been pigging out. While I was sick, he ordered 2 large pizzas one for him and one for britt. He ate the entire thing except two pieces which he ate the next night. I have been finding bowls and stuff by his chair when I get up in the morning. Then, we got chicken for supper as I didnt get home til 6. No biggie, he came out here and was telling me everything that he’s been pigging out on….and then he went right back in the kitchen and got more food (this is after supper). So, in all he had 6 pieces of chicken, 3 rolls, the entire container of potato salad-small one but still normally makes two meals.  I asked if he’s gained any weight from this and he’s still the same….I told him, you better be glad your having those shakes for breakfast, lunch or else he would have gained major weight. He’s says it’s from boredom.

This week though, now that i’m better and its so pretty outside….I want to get back into my walks and working in the yard. I miss doing those things. I’m hoping to coax him into going with me a little bit.  Also, come friday, guess i’ll be cleaning another house for his boss. I dont mind, it brings in a few extra dollars that are sorely needed right now. 

As for britt, we got her some pain meds today. Bad news is, we now have to clean and pack the wound ourselves. I already told hubby and told him we have to do this–which translates into…i’m gonna bribe him into doing this lol. I dont have a strong stomach at all for this kind of thing, but if it came down to it, I could. Might get sick afterwards, but I can do it.

Well, guys, its getting late so i’m gonna go.  Thanks all the get well wishes for me & brittney!! I’ll be checking on you guys tomarrow. Have a great night!